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Why I Hate Cheerleaders... THANKS MOM!!! (-_-)
Written by Toy   
November 10, 2012
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Cassie No Cheerleader Art

I've been nervously cleaning my room all morning, like a FIEND-- with that sick, anxious "I'm totally gonna pee myself" feeling like I'm 13 years old again... that feeling I'd get when my mom would say I couldn't go to Junior Prom unless I finished... or my best friend's party/sleepover... or that I wouldn't be allowed to come to the phone when "my secret crush boo" called (once he'd FINALLY get the nerve to call our home phone number afraid that my Daddy might answer)... or [insert other potentially life-altering, kryptonite-ish threats our parents could use to control our lives put us back in line.] (*_*)  Gulp.

You remember that feeling, don'tcha? Oooooh you just had a mini-flashback too, huh?

That actually did happen to me once and I still deal with it to this day. Only it wasn't a missed prom or relinquished phone privileges, or some stupid "crush boo" boy. It was...........................................

HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADING TRYOUTS.

Yes. And because my room wasn't clean when I asked my mom's permission to tryout the night before...yep, you guessed it. She did it to me. She wouldn't let me try out. Cry

Yep. My mom really did that. (-__-)

 

So naturally, I vowed to do the only respectable thing a smart girl like myself would do after that level of devastation and injustice. I vowed to hate my mom?? wait no... HATE ALL CHEERLEADERS ON EARTH, MARS AND VENUS... And beyond. Yes. That'll learn 'em. Cool

 

Toy Shooting Ball in Basketball Game

TOY HS Basketball

Consequently, I acted out my newfound teenage rebellion and misdirected anger by joining the high school basketball team instead.  (And you'd better believe my room was spic-n-frikkin' span that night before tryouts!!!)

I only moderately sucked. (All long-shots/defense & no dribble...but a great attitude!)

And even better...

 

Toy on stage

I also showed those silly cheerleaders (see also: oblivious to my inner torment) who's boss by writing passive-aggressive emo rap lyrics over hardcore WuTang beats!! Tee Hee. Wink

YES. I turned to hip-hop to ease my pain. Strange turn of events, but it's TRUE!

Now, that one actually worked out pretty well since it led me to recording music seriously, performing onstage for larger audiences, and selling my music at a young age! (More funnies about that later)!

So with that said, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING MOM! ٩(ツ)۶

Oh wait. Well... except for that one day while I was at school and she trespassed into my sacred Queendom went in my room to "clean" and THREW AWAY an entire stack of my MOST BESTEST, MOST DOPEST, MOST HOTTEST FIYAH RHYMES because... (wait for it)...."because it was laying on the floor and she thought it was trash." Yell........Surprised!!! 

TRASH?!!! Finely-crafted with my favorite blue Bic on that special pink college-ruled notebook paper I paid for out of my own piggy bank savings, MOM?! REALLY?!?! Oh...ok.  Undecided #hater

More on that later.

 

No Cheerleaders

 

So wait-- what was the moral of the story here, again? That I hate cheerleaders?

Actually, nah. I DON'T HATE CHEERLEADERS AT ALLI never did.


The moral of the story is... that basically, I've been brainwashed into cleaning my room by use of traumatic childhood events....and to this day, from 513.7 miles away, I still suffer mild to moderate anxiety attacks whenever my room is messy. (*__*)

(p.s. And so does my brother. Undecided Oh, and one of my sisters too.Frown) More on that later.

 

Thank you for listening. I have to go finish now.


 

Filed In My Brain Under: #ThanksMom♥ #LoveYouMom♥ #TherapyAnyone?! \_(-_-)_/

 

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