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CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME??! NOOO!!! :'-( #NerdLifeFAIL
Written by Toy   
September 18, 2012
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CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME??! NOOO!!! :'-( #NerdLifeFAIL
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Remember that braggadocious "NERDLIFE!!!" post I did just a little over a week long ago? (._.) Well...kinda looks like that whole reading, writing, researchin', mouse-totin', laptop-slangin' life of danger has landed me in a whole HEAP o' trouble...

For the past few weeks I had been experiencing some weird pains in my shoulder, hands and wrists as a result of my obsessive excessive nerding (and weird sleep positions).  I posted this on Facebook almost two weks ago, laughing it off. Well kinda. I was only laughing to keep from crying...

 

FB update

 

And then I wasn't laughing at all.

I woke up last Friday, a bit more in pain than before, and jumped online for just a few minutes to check my email. Out of the clear blue, my ENTIRE LEFT ARM-- from shoulder to fingertips-- went COMPLETELY NUMB!!!! I PANICKED like you wouldn't believe!!!! Like, I ran around in the living room in semi-circles, made snow angels on the hardwood floor, punched myself with the other arm trying to "make it come back alive", did about 5 minutes of ugly cry/wall-slide combinations, and then crawled back over to my cell phone and called the doctor, who summoned me in immediately.

An hour later, doctor is like, "Umm.. dear. You have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome."

And I was like,

 

 

 

 

Then I swear on Sweet Brown's head scarf that for the next 1 minute 57 seconds I didn't hear another word my doctor said. She may as well have been Charlie Brown's teacher, because all I could hear behind the montage of ALLLL the work that I needed to do, (followed by unpaid bills and me in a cardboard box in Central Park living happily ever after), was Sweet Brown singing full-blast in surround sound in my head...


 

LMAOOOO! Well anyway.... Yeah. It pretty much felt like my Nerd Life was over.


 

No NERD LIFE'ing. :(

 

The next few days were increasingly tough-- laying around with the dreaded mummy braces binding both wrists, staring longingly at my laptop from afar, and waiting hopelessly for the Naproxen to kick in so that nothing would hurt. And the longer I laid there, the angrier I got. I mean after all.... if nothing else, DAMMIT-- I've got FB statuses to update, pics to like, tweets to tweet, Insta's to "Gram", Pins to Pinterest, and doggone BLOGS to write, lol!Undecided After a while, I did manage the pain enough to pick up my smartphone and do a little research.. and luckily, I was able to find a a few Carpal Tunnel exercises to help ease some of the symptoms temporarily (with some slightly angry improvisations I decided to make, here and there....lol)



Extend and stretch both wrists and fingers acutely as if they are in a hand-stand position. Hold for a count of 5.

Push random people down stairs. Hold them there for a count of 5.


Straighten both wrists and relax fingers.

Feel really sorry for yourself while walking like a zombie to and from the fridge every half hour for comfort food.


Make a tight fist with both hands.

Make a tight fist with both hands.... then punch everyone in the face.


Then bend both wrists down while keeping the fist. Hold for a count of 5.

Bend both wrists down so that policemen can properly handcuff you for punching people in the face in the previous exercise. Hold for a count of 5.


Straighten both wrists and relax fingers, for a count of 5.

Once bail is posted and you are safely home from jail, head back to the fridge for more comfort food. You've had a long day. (Not to mention, you're really hungry.... the jail food sucked. 0_o)


Let your arms hang loosely at the side and shake them for a few seconds.

Pick up your computer and shake the living sh*t out of it for a few seconds for all the trouble it's caused you.:(

 

(Guess this whole exercise thing didn't go so well, huh?)

But wait, there's more... And it gets better..................



 

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