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THINKIN' OUT LOUD
Why I Hate Cheerleaders... THANKS MOM!!! (-_-)
Written by Toy   
November 10, 2012
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Cassie No Cheerleader Art

I've been nervously cleaning my room all morning, like a FIEND-- with that sick, anxious "I'm totally gonna pee myself" feeling like I'm 13 years old again... that feeling I'd get when my mom would say I couldn't go to Junior Prom unless I finished... or my best friend's party/sleepover... or that I wouldn't be allowed to come to the phone when "my secret crush boo" called (once he'd FINALLY get the nerve to call our home phone number afraid that my Daddy might answer)... or [insert other potentially life-altering, kryptonite-ish threats our parents could use to control our lives put us back in line.] (*_*)  Gulp.

You remember that feeling, don'tcha? Oooooh you just had a mini-flashback too, huh?

That actually did happen to me once and I still deal with it to this day. Only it wasn't a missed prom or relinquished phone privileges, or some stupid "crush boo" boy. It was...........................................

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THINK “FAST”: 5 Tips To Curb A Mental Meltdown While Fasting!!! O_o
Written by Toy   
October 12, 2012
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This post is brought to you from the pillowy bosoms of a feeling called Clarity, courtesy of my current 10-day fast…. I’m on the end of Day 5!!!!!! Cool *wild, roaring applause*


I’m in NO WAY trying to paint myself as an expert at this; only just started doing fasts a couple of years ago to break through some mental & emotional blocks, gain some discipline and improve my health. Before I got the hang of it, I'd always start off with good intentions; serious, determined, fired-up, even. But no matter how well I started, somewhere between the first and third days all hell would break loose. My mind would become chaotic, I would start to panic, contemplate giving up, and then the whole damned fast would start to look a little something like this picture, lol…

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CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME??! NOOO!!! :'-( #NerdLifeFAIL
Written by Toy   
September 18, 2012
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Remember that braggadocious "NERDLIFE!!!" post I did just a little over a week long ago? (._.) Well...kinda looks like that whole reading, writing, researchin', mouse-totin', laptop-slangin' life of danger has landed me in a whole HEAP o' trouble...

For the past few weeks I had been experiencing some weird pains in my shoulder, hands and wrists as a result of my obsessive excessive nerding (and weird sleep positions).  I posted this on Facebook almost two weks ago, laughing it off. Well kinda. I was only laughing to keep from crying...

 

FB update

 

And then I wasn't laughing at all.

I woke up last Friday, a bit more in pain than before, and jumped online for just a few minutes to check my email. Out of the clear blue, my ENTIRE LEFT ARM-- from shoulder to fingertips-- went COMPLETELY NUMB!!!! I PANICKED like you wouldn't believe!!!! Like, I ran around in the living room in semi-circles, made snow angels on the hardwood floor, punched myself with the other arm trying to "make it come back alive", did about 5 minutes of ugly cry/wall-slide combinations, and then crawled back over to my cell phone and called the doctor, who summoned me in immediately.

An hour later, doctor is like, "Umm.. dear. You have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome."

And I was like,

 

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Poker Face Lady & The Mystery Toilet Paper
Written by Toy   
July 24, 2012
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Mystery Toilet Paper

Some people have an AMAZING superhuman ability to stay ABSOLUTELY calm in the craziest of moments......

Take for instance, the lady in line in front of me at Best Buy just now.

I just tapped her on the shoulder (after a long freakout-session in my head on her behalf) and whispered that 'something' was hanging from underneath her long skirt. Without missing a beat, she looked down, reached under, and proceeded to pull out about 2 FULL ROLLS of toilet paper that was somehow tucked into her stockings!!!! (Ok, maybe not 2 whole rolls... but at least $1.77 worth-- or shall we say, approximately 3 & 1/3 wraps around the fist worth.) :-| And she DIDN'T bat a single EYELASH! NOT ONE. Like a fearless superhero, she stood at the front of that LONNNNNG LOONNNNNNG line of us watching in bewilderment.... and she just kept pulling... and pulling... til she pulled it all out (like a mighty magician clown pulling all those long azz colorful handkerchiefs tied together out of a hat at the circus?) And then...

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A little note from "The Queen of Sensitive"
Written by Toy   
July 16, 2012
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Be sensitive

[photo: ChristArt.com]


ATTENTION.

If you ever happen to catch me going through it, and I do decide to pour my heart out to you, PLEASE do me a favor, and never ever ever ever say any of the following things in response:


"Oh, you're strong. You'll get through it."

"I never worry about you. I always know you'll be ok!"

"Aww c'mon, just snap out of it."

"It's not a big deal. Why do you let that upset you?"

"That's just how it is/how they are/how life goes. Sometimes you just have to get over it..."

 

Yeah, nahh. Just. don't. Undecided

While some of these things might be "true", and my perspective may very well need a shift, timing and wording is everything. In the midst of an emotional struggle, these are probably some of the least encouraging, helpful, or empathetic words to hear.... [continued below]

 

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