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The OTHER Ruby Slippers
Written by Toy   
October 15, 2013
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TOY's Ultimate "Ruby Slippers" by Patricia Field

If I were a shoe, I'd be this one.

...And I would make you my fashion slave.

And you would wear me to work, party, church, to the grocery store, to the gym until your arches collapsed, your toes curled up and you crawled home on your knees & elbows and wore them to bed... And then you'd get up the next day and do it again. And again. And again. And. you. would. love. it.


No, I'm serious. This shoe is ev-er-yyyy-THANG. As in, this shoe should have it's own Twitter account. And a talk show... "The Shoe". And then this shoe should go on to star in a movie of the same name opposite Will Smith and Brad Pitt.


And speaking of movies.....

Wicked Witch vs. Dorothy- Red Stiletto

[unedited photo via Fascination With Fear]

Forget the "Wizard" AND those bedazzled orthopedic kitten-heel loafers she originally wore—— Dorothy would've kicked that Wicked Witch's raggedy green, fashion-challenged azz over these ruby slippers.  The Wizard of Oz would've easily been a 15-minute short film.


Ladies, am I lying? But I digress...

Patricia Field Boutique, you are WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And like I said...lucky for all of you that I wasn't born a shoe.

Kiss #Who'sYourMama #SayMyName

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Oh LAWD! I've been "CUPPED"... O_o!!!
Written by Toy   
September 26, 2012
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Listen.... you can call me a whole lot of things.. but after yesterday, WIMP certainly ain't one of them.

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Me vs. A Pissed Raccoon
Written by Toy   
August 02, 2012
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Raccoon Shade

original photo by Nora Arias Loftis


It's 1:14am and I'm sweating like a pig in a turtleneck. Damn near had to fight a 40-lb raccoon on the way home just now. :-| Anyone who lives near Central Park knows I ain't lying, exaggerating or embellishing.... They're often out at night raping, pillaging & scavenging the streets alongside their trifling NYC rat friends, but this one... He looked like he was having a rough night, sitting there in the middle of the sidewalk, and he didn't wanna move. And me? Well, I'd DAMN SURE had a hard night, too. My barely worn-in stilettos were still pinching. AND, there was only 1 short block separating me from my bed, so I wasn't moving EITHER.. lol! (Plus, I paid my taxes today, so I was feeling quite entitled.) So we had a stare-down (me in the crouching tiger hidden haul-azz position)... and he humped up his back like a cat and


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Power Fantastic
Written by Toy   
June 07, 2012
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Power Fantastic

If you ever catch me on the edge, balled up in a corner in the fetal position

eyes rolled back in my head, rocking back and forth ever so gently, left eye ticking slightly

on the downbeat-- and there are no tranquilizer darts handy--

just grab my iPod and put this on this song...

I'm convinced that there's a secret hidden message in it (recorded at a certain magical frequency that

only I can hear, lol)... and it ALWAYS brings me back to bliss.:)

My favorite artist.. and one of my favorite songs.

No one else makes me feel like him. :)

♥ #PRINCE4EVA

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Alice In Wonderland...in JAMAICA?!
Written by Toy   
June 06, 2012
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Alice-DrinkMe

I know this is kinda random but... you remember the story of "Alice In Wonderland", right?

Ok. Well have you ever had four glasses of Riesling when your limit is two and thenwondered how it might've played out if, (rather than Wonderland), Alice had fallen into a rabbit hole that landed her in, say....

....a living room in Jamaica? Hmmm.....

And then, instead of throwing back that 40-oz of magic shrinking potion like a true OG with a bottle of "Old E" drinking the magic shrinking potion, she would have drank.....say....

 

Patra

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.....a tall glass of Patra?

Hmmm... I wonder...

*eerie dream sequence music* ------------> (UH oh.) (Here goes.....)

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