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Price Tags That Made Me Gag!?
Written by Toy   
September 05, 2012
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$200 Pillow

Yesterday I was strolling through Bed Bath & Beyond, looking for a new pillow that wouldn't feel like I was sleeping on a pile of rocks, sticks, and Pillsbury biscuit cans, when suddenly I came across this pillow and had an epiphany... CLEARLY, I'm in the wrong damned business!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm about to get myself a truck full of feathers and start making pillows... Effective IMMEDIATELY!

$200 For ONE damned pillow????!! (*_*)



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Bloody Mary FAIL!
Written by Toy   
June 25, 2012
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Bloody Mary FAIL

(After stalking watching me from behind a bush planted on the bar, a flirty, wild-eyed, scruffy blonde waiter suddenly pounces upon his prey my table, unapologetically interrupting a peaceful solo brunch with bottomless mimosas)...

Waiter: [speaking in THICK Russian accent] Ohhhh.. you are almost done with mimosa. You would uhh... like another one?

Me: OH. Ummm...ok yeah... sure. I'll have another one.

Waiter: Or how would you like to try my Bloody Mary......

Me: Oh...No thanks. I don't think I like tomato jui--

Waiter: Great, I MAKE one for you.. I be right back. (*hauls azz behind the bar, begins mixing frantically*)

Me: (-_-) ...

Waiter: (*returns with 40-oz glass of a viscous concoction containing rotten celery stalks, thick tomato juice, and rotten limes, with buzzards flying around it*)

Me: o_o  *loses appetite immediately, dry heaves*

Waiter: Wait. Let me tell you why you do not like Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary is not right in America. In Russia, Bloody Mary is for single man like me who have no wife, no girlfriend... When I lust for woman, I go to bar and order Bloody Mary, and I get...... No ...  I TAKE MY WOMAN.

Me: o_0.....................

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Japanese SPLIT RACING?!!
Written by Toy   
March 26, 2012
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DAMMMNNNNNNNN!!!!!! Surprised #thatisall


Oh wait... I forgot something...


OUUUCHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Yell #okthat'sall

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