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That Awkward Moment When It's Almost Summer
Written by Toy   
June 24, 2014
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Aaaaah, yes... Summer's Eve.

You know— That awkward moment when it's time to buy a SWIMSUIT and be nekkid on purpose...Yell

What is it about those very last few magical months weeks days MILLISECONDS before summer strikes that motivates us so? LOL.

Summer's Eve-rs, I salute you. Procrastination at it's finest. Cool

*Cues Rocky theme music* #EyeoftheTiger

 


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The Devil Sells Girl Scout Cookies
Written by Toy   
March 19, 2014
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The OTHER Ruby Slippers
Written by Toy   
October 15, 2013
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TOY's Ultimate "Ruby Slippers" by Patricia Field

If I were a shoe, I'd be this one.

...And I would make you my fashion slave.

And you would wear me to work, party, church, to the grocery store, to the gym until your arches collapsed, your toes curled up and you crawled home on your knees & elbows and wore them to bed... And then you'd get up the next day and do it again. And again. And again. And. you. would. love. it.


No, I'm serious. This shoe is ev-er-yyyy-THANG. As in, this shoe should have it's own Twitter account. And a talk show... "The Shoe". And then this shoe should go on to star in a movie of the same name opposite Will Smith and Brad Pitt.


And speaking of movies.....

Wicked Witch vs. Dorothy- Red Stiletto

[unedited photo via Fascination With Fear]

Forget the "Wizard" AND those bedazzled orthopedic kitten-heel loafers she originally wore—— Dorothy would've kicked that Wicked Witch's raggedy green, fashion-challenged azz over these ruby slippers.  The Wizard of Oz would've easily been a 15-minute short film.


Ladies, am I lying? But I digress...

Patricia Field Boutique, you are WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And like I said...lucky for all of you that I wasn't born a shoe.

Kiss #Who'sYourMama #SayMyName

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A Lesson in Tunnel Vision
Written by Toy   
September 13, 2013
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TOY in Tunnel

I've always hated walking to the #6 train in that direction. Ok, maybe not so much the walk itself as much as passing through the dark, dreaded, stank underpass/tunnel thang when I went that way. Any other day I’d sigh and stop just at the edge of said underpass/tunnel thang, frowning and squinting… Next, I’d take a super deep (dramatic) breath, holding it carefully in my puffed-out to maximum capacity cheeks (looking straight up like Dizzy Gillespie)... and then do a running skip-hop-hurry-scurry-dash-hurdle-hop right on through it! It was only about 20-25 steps from one side to the other, and even LESS on a good day. Or roughly 10-15 seconds on a Chuck'ed tiptoe (which double as perfect pointe shoes, if you didn't know). My reward for the challenge? A $2.50 MTA escape to whatever freedom awaited on the other side of that jarring stench of a moldy, fossilized pee smell (and other unspeakable nighttime secrets that were smeared into the DNA of those tunnel walls). But I was in NO kinda run-skip-hop-hurry-scurry-dash-hurdle-hoppin' mood that day...


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Inspiration is Waiting...
Written by Toy   
March 17, 2013
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